For the dressing, add all of the ingredients into a blender and blend until smooth. Add more water if you like a thinner dressing. Store dressing in a jar for about 1 week.
In a food processor (you are going to have to do this is 4 batches) pulse 1/4 of the kale a few times until chopped like ribbons.
Add chopped kale to a bowl and process the rest of the kale in 3 more batches.